


numb or all too much?

by nygmadaydreams



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Post-Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-22 16:15:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22285561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nygmadaydreams/pseuds/nygmadaydreams
Summary: Oswald and Edward have a heart-to-heart after another one of Edward's nightmares.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Comments: 3
Kudos: 75





	numb or all too much?

**Author's Note:**

> i literally haven't written a thing since november's nanowrimo, i'm seriously so sorry for everyone who's been expecting updates on my other stories! perhaps now that i managed to scribble this up at 3am i'll be motivated to update them lmao.  
> today's drabble was highly inspired by how i've been feeling for the past month or so. i got new antidepressants and they make me feel very similar to edward in this story. let's hope that it gets better :/

Oswald’s slumber was rudely interrupted when he felt something thrashing against his body. He squinted in the dark room and was ready to pull out the pistol from underneath his pillow, but he realized it was merely Edward. The man was squeezing Oswald’s arm like his life depended on it and muttering in his sleep, rubbing his face against the pillow with beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Another nightmare, Oswald assumed and pulled his arm from Edward’s grasp.

“Eddie,” Oswald said softly, grabbing the man’s shoulder in order to stabilize him. “Ed. Edward, wake up.”

Edward’s body jolted and he pried his eyes open just as his breath hitched like he’d been about to scream. He looked around frantically until his eyes got used to the dark and landed on Oswald. Edward said nothing but still looked panicked. Oswald, already used to this ritual, propped himself partly on top of Edward and placed his hand on the other’s warm face. It felt like Edward was on fire. Oswald wasn’t sure if it was an actual fever or if he was just sweaty from wrestling with the blanket for a while.

“Was it another nightmare?” he asked.

Edward didn’t respond right away, still eyeing around himself suspiciously like he didn’t believe the bad dream was actually over. “Yes,” he got out in a hoarse whisper and swallowed. “C-Could I have some water, please?”

“Of course,” Oswald said and pecked Ed on the cheek before sitting up and reaching for the bedside table where they always kept a water glass. He offered it to Edward who propped himself against the pillow, upright enough to take a long sip of the drink. He downed the entire glass without a breath and placed it on his own bedside table before sinking back into the mattress. Oswald returned to his previous position, too.

”Are you alright?” he asked quietly, running his thumb across Edward’s sharp cheekbone. Despite it being dark in the room, Edward couldn’t bring himself to look at Oswald’s face. Instead, he let his eyes idle the space where Oswald’s pale skin met the pyjama shirt.

“I’m okay,” he muttered almost thoughtfully. He pressed himself subconsciously closer to Oswald, almost snuggling against the smaller man’s neck.

Oswald was very clearly not convinced. “You don’t look or sound okay,” he noted, though there was no malice or sass behind his words. More than anything, he sounded concerned. “How’s your body reacting to the medicine? Except for the nightmares?”

Edward took a long time to respond. “I feel… dull. Very dull,” he finally said and licked his dried out lips. “Very dull and constantly tired. Kind of like if there was a black and white filter in front of my eyes?”

Oswald hummed a little in an understanding tone. “Anything else?”

“I feel like I’m… missing something. Like staring at a white wall,” Edward furrowed his brows a little, trying to gather his thoughts. “It’s numbing my brain. But I suppose it’s better to feel empty than feel all too much.”

“The doctor said it’s meant to balance your emotions,” Oswald said and stopped caressing Ed’s cheek. He shifted himself a bit so he was laying against the bigger man more comfortably and sighed. “You don’t look very content, though.”

“It’s suppressing what I truly am like…” Edward turned on his side and wrapped an arm tightly around Oswald. As soon as the man’s weight had left his chest he’d felt lonely. “And it’s reminding me of the past.”

Oswald remained quiet so Edward continued. “We were meant to make this city bow down to us. How are we supposed to do that when I don’t even know who I am anymore?”

“This is just a temporary setback,” Oswald said in a reassuring tone, still managing to be calming while raising his voice. “It’s the only way Jim allowed us the full pardon. Community service for me, medicine for you. I think it’s a rather small price to pay for freedom.”

“Perhaps,” Edward said, but continued bitterly, “but picking trash off the ground won’t make you lose 50 percent of your personality, will it?”

Oswald snuggled closer to Edward and sighed as he begun rubbing soothing circles on Edward’s stomach. “When Jim sees how ‘well’ the medicine is effecting you, he’ll stop patrolling that you’re actually taking it,” he promised. “Just last a couple more weeks, will you, my love?”

“A couple more weeks,” Edward repeated, attempting to convince himself. “I can take a couple weeks. It’s… a good trade-off.”

“I’m sorry you have to suffer for our success,” Oswald said after a moment of comfortable silence. “I promise it’ll be worth it.”

“I know,” Edward said and pushed his hand into Oswald raven hair. The smooth, feathery texture soothed his nerves every single time. “I suppose it’s quite amazing, to be fair. How well the meds are keeping Riddler in check compared to all the drugs I took back at the Narrows.”

“I really thought you two had integrated,” Oswald mumbled against Edward’s chest. He was getting sleepy thanks to the hair petting. “Guess not.”

“Guess not, indeed,” Ed matched the thoughtful tone of Oswald’s words. “Does it… bother you?”

Oswald raised his head before he could get too tired to do so, and shook Edward’s hand off his hair. He placed his own hands on the sides of Edward’s face and smiled the most sincere and loving of smiles. “Absolutely not,” he said firmly. “I love and cherish both sides of you. The Edward and The Riddler. It’s pretty nice having the two of you around.”

Edward smiled for the first time during their conversation and leaned into Oswald’s touch. “Thank you,” he whispered and kissed the side of Oswald’s thumb. Smiling, they shared a proper kiss, slow and tender.

“Sleep now, will you?” Oswald suggested as they parted.

“Will you sing me to sleep?” Edward asked, yawning.

Oswald’s smile was a mixture of mischievous and lovestruck. “Not a single night will go by that I won’t.” He sealed the promise with a kiss.


End file.
